


Two Dumbasses In Love

by orphan_account



Category: Batim - Fandom, Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: High School AU, M/M, Modern AU, please for the love of god dont read this if u dont wanna cringe, theres so many dumb references to memes in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-03 18:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20457416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Shawn has a crush on Wally and eventually figures out that Wally likes him back. As they date, they both stumble through the highs and lows of high school dating and start to realize just how hard relationships really are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey uh sorry this is. really dumb ? idk my friends convinced me to post it so i did  
probably wouldn't have posted this otherwise bc yknow a n x i e t y  
um. if its bad tell me ? and if its not tell me ? im open to critique bc this all feels really fuckin dumb and cheesy and i want to know if its too dumb or not  
yeah thisll have a lot of dumb meme references n shit lol  
also um the musical mentioned at the beginning is ,, guys and dolls and i chose that bc i had to be part of that musical back in seventh grade
> 
> also uh. tw for mentions of homophobia ? they're not that bad though, just along the lines of 'fuck i cant like a guy my parents r homophobic' and thats it

“God, I still can’t believe I have to wear a _ fedora _for this.” Wally tipped his hat at Shawn and said, “M’lady,”

“I mean, I look like a nice guy, don’t I?” Wally asked. Shawn lifted an eyebrow.

“You? Absolutely not.” Shawn chuckled. Wally put an expression of mock hurt on his face and gasped. “How dare you! I am the nicest of guys,” he declared, putting his hand to his chest, “I treat all ladies with dignity and respect! When it’s convenient for me, anyways.”

Shawn snorted, putting on his headset and making sure it was off before replying, “To my knowledge, nice guys are usually straight. You, however, are not.”

“Wh- how would you know that? I never even talk about crushes and stuff with you!” Wally replied, his tone of voice getting a bit defensive.

“I just get those vibes,” Shawn replied with a dismissive shrug. This conversation almost completely confirmed in his mind that Franks was gay, he could just tell by how defensive he was getting, not even mentioning how strong his gaydar was around him.

“Hmph.” Wally picked up the shirt he was going to change into. “Can you, uh?”

“Yeah, yeah. Got it.” Shawn turned around, keeping his eyes on the floor. “So, like, you excited for our first performance tonight?”

“I guess. I dunno, this musical’s kinda.. old fashioned, if you get what I mean?”

“To be fair, it _ was _made in the ’50s. Kinda expected for it to be religious and a little bit sexist.” That earned him a light chuckle from his friend. 

“Yeah. Guess so. I mean, at least the songs are kinda catchy.” Shawn snorted, then replied, “Yeah, that is true.”

“If I’m being honest, I wish we could’ve done Hamilton or Be More Chill or something. Call them overrated, but they’re overrated for a reason.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, right, you can turn back around now by the way.”

Shawn turned back, glad to no longer be just awkwardly standing facing away from Wally while they talked. He was now wearing a sharp brown suit with a black tie, which he looked absolutely adorable in (in Shawn’s opinion, at least.)

“Wow, you look… uh, sick. Really gnarly, dude.” Wally giggled a bit. Shawn was glad he hadn’t said ‘good’, because as much as Wally was super oblivious, better safe than sorry.

“Everyone, up on stage! Extras too,” the music teacher called, and Wally nodded at Shawn with a small smile. “Alright, see ya in a bit,” he said, very lightly punching him in the shoulder as he left. He felt his heart thump in his chest and his face heat up slightly, but he forced himself to just head to the main backstage area with the other students in the stage management team. Susie, obviously, was the stage manager. She turned as she saw Shawn, and greeted him with a grin.

“Hey! What’s up?” She said. Shawn shrugged. “I dunno. Not much.”

“Damn. Got any tea to spill?” Susie asked. Shawn knew that was the real question she meant to ask, it was always just a matter of time till she actually asked it.

“You know I never have any tea,” he replied with a roll of his eyes. “Besides, if I did, I’m not giving it out without a game of truth or dare.” He grinned, and now it was Susie’s time to roll her eyes.

“I have a feeling you have _ some _ tea you’re just not spilling. Alright. Afterparty, I’ll get everyone together to play.” 

Shawn felt his stomach flip. He didn’t really mean it seriously, but he couldn’t just back out now. Besides, they would have to have an idea of what the tea was about before finding out. And c’mon, who ever asks ‘who’s your crush’ in truth or dare anymore?

Okay, fuck. Turns out I was wrong.

After getting our paper plates and getting a slice of cake each, me, Wally, Susie, Sammy, Jack, and Allison sat down in a circle to play truth or dare. Henry had to go home and Joey, Grant, Lacie, and Tom just didn’t want to play, which was fair.

I was sitting next to Wally, which, in retrospect, probably didn’t help with the whole ‘hiding my crush’ thing. Every time Wally leaned over to whisper something to me, (which was pretty often, Wally loved to whisper dumb shit like ‘okay so basically I’m monky’ to me to make me laugh while someone else was doing a dare) I blushed. It had to have been _ so _goddamn obvious. Finally, it got around to me.

“Hmmm,” Susie narrowed her eyes slightly as she looked at me. Of course it was Susie. She was the best at getting info out of people, so I had a bad feeling about this.

“So, what’s the tea?” She asked, and I replied with a snort. “You think I’m just gonna tell you?”

She raised an eyebrow, observing me and my surroundings. I suddenly became aware of how close I and Wally were sitting next to each other and hoped she wouldn’t pick up on it. But I knew she would. And she sure wouldn’t pass that off as just a friends thing, considering I’d known him for a shorter amount of time than everyone else there. Yeah, you could make close friends quickly, that’s true, but Susie could always see right through me.

After a pause, a smirk became apparent on her face. “Think I’m gonna go with… _ the question. _” Sammy rolled his eyes from across the circle. “That’s lame,” he commented.

“I know what I’m doing,” she retorted. Sammy let out an exasperated sigh but didn’t reply further.

_ What’s…? _I didn’t even have a moment to wonder what the question was before being reminded.

“Who’s your cruuuush?” She said in a purposely annoying tone of voice. She was half-joking, but the other half was seriously asking it.

“What? Me? Having a crush? Absolutely not. I mean, cmon, it would be _ obvious, _ right?” I smiled awkwardly. _ God, I’m such a horrible liar. _

“Ehh,” Allison replied, “Last time you had a crush you didn’t tell any of us about him until you didn’t like him anymore, and none of us noticed. For like…. months.”

“Pshh. You guys are just bad at reading people.” I quickly glanced at Susie. “Besides you, Susie. You’re usually the first to notice, you just don’t tell anyone.”

_ Oop. Definitely said too much that time. _

And at the perfect moment, Wally rested his head on my shoulder and my cheeks went pink. I tried to stop blushing, but to no avail, and at least a couple of people definitely noticed.

“Okay, fine. I, uh… I like…” I paused for a moment or two, trying to just say the first thing that came to mind. “Uh.. Henry. Yeah, Henry. Just… don’t tell him.”

Sammy narrowed his eyes slightly, but then lightly shrugged. I figured he must have brushed off my red face to just being embarrassed or surprised by the sudden contact or something. I was a bit surprised by this, mainly because of the fact that Sammy was gay too, although I guess that doesn’t necessarily make him better at guessing people’s crushes.

Susie’s eyes went to slits for a moment or two before putting on a smirk. I could always tell when her reaction to something was just plain acting when no one else did, having been friends with her for a long time.

“Ohh, really? Well, I promise not to tell him, but hey, who knows. Maybe I’ll try and set you guys up.” She winked at me, and I suddenly felt very bad for lying. Maybe I’d text the rest of them later and tell them about Wally. But.. that would be _ so awkward. _

_ I could always just tell Henry, _ I thought, _ I mean, he’d get it. I’d at least want him to know that I don’t actually like him in case someone mentions it to him at some point. _

“Haha, please don’t,” Shawn replied with a fake grin.

“I’ll try not to.”

Shawn flopped down on his bed, rubbing his eyes and sighing in frustration. He opened his phone and pulled up Henry’s contact. He typed out part of a text before deleting it and retyping it, then deleting it again and again until he finally just threw down his phone on his bed and turned, putting his face into his pillow.

He let out a groan as his phone dinged. He lifted it and read with dreary eyes a text from Susie, _ Why’d you lie? You could’ve just said no instead of pretending to like Henry. _

He sighed. _ idk man, _ he texted back, _ i just don’t want anyone to have picked up on it bc i don’t want it getting back to wally _

_ And why not? _ She texted. _ You’d have a good chance of dating him if you just told the guy. _

_ i dont know abt that. besides, i dont even want the chance that we stop being friends just bc of some dumb crush yknow _

_ Hm. I guess I get that. But hey, what’s the point of high school if you don’t do a bunch of dumb shit and get a boyfriend? _

look i just. not anytime soon ok? and its.. more complicated than that.

There was a pause before he added, _ btw is there any way you can break it to the rest of the group that i dont like henry _

_ I’ll.. see what I can do. _

_ thanks. _

There was a long pause, and Shawn set his phone down before hearing a ding.

_ You should tell him. You’re just gonna be miserable otherwise. _

_ im gonna sleep. gnight _

_ Night. _

As he set down his phone and stared up at his ceiling, he couldn’t help but daydream about what it would be like if they were dating. He wished he could kiss and hug that dumb goofball. It hurt to think about the fact that Wally would probably just reject him and they’d be too awkward to be friends afterward.

_ I’m pathetic, _he thought to himself. He knew Susie would scold him for saying something like that about himself. But two a.m. in the morning, lying in bed and thinking about his crush on one of his best friends, he couldn’t think of a more fitting word.

“Hey.”

Shawn glanced up at Henry. “Sup.” He felt himself have a mini heart attack as he remembered the previous night. God, it would be embarrassing if it had already gotten to him that Shawn had said that.

“So…” he paused and lifted an eyebrow. It then clicked on his mind that Henry barely ever talked to him, and he certainly never just came up and started chatting with him. He was a quiet guy; didn’t usually go up to someone and start a conversation unless he had something he wanted to discuss. Which meant…

“Oh. Oh, god, did someone already tell you?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god. Can you- can we go out into the hallway for a sec?”

Henry nodded. They left and the art teacher didn’t ask any questions. Most teachers trusted Henry to come back to class within a few minutes without knowing where he was going. He was a diligent student, finished his work as soon as he could then sat around drawing for the rest of the class time.

Shawn leaned against a wall and let out a sigh. “Okay, look, here’s the thing. I, uh, don’t… like you. Like that.” Henry blinked than replied, “I figured.”

Shawn raised his eyebrow a bit, and Henry added, “Yeah. You just didn’t give off ‘crushing on me’ vibes. It’s usually pretty easy to pick up on crushes.” 

“Ah.”

“So.. You like Wally or what?” Shawn’s face immediately went red.

“I- yeah, okay, there’s no denying it. You’d sniff out that I’m lying right away. Yeah. Is it really that obvious?”

Henry shrugged. “Eh. Not super. I mean, Sammy hasn’t caught on yet.”

“How do you know that?” Shawn asked, tipping his head slightly to the side. 

“Oh, you didn’t know? Sammy was the one who texted me.”

“Oh. Well, that’s kind of an asshole move.”

Henry shrugged. “Well, to my knowledge he didn’t mention it to anyone else. But I have a feeling he told me because he was expecting me to get some sort of answer out of you.”

“That.. would actually make sense,” he muttered. Henry sighed. “If you’re wondering, I won’t tell him about Wally. I’ll just say.. I dunno.. could I at least say you lied?”

Shawn shrugged. “I don’t know, sure. If he hasn’t figured it out already that’ll probably be fine, I guess.”

And yet again, he was so fucking wrong.

“What’s up, Shawn?” By the smug grin on Sammy’s face, Shawn immediately knew that he had put the pieces together. He was somehow surprised, even though he already knew this was coming.

“When did you figure it out? Yesterday or this morning?” Shawn replied with a sigh.

“What ever do you mean?” Sammy replied. He chuckled, then added, “Alright, okay. Last night. I didn’t want to text you about it so I just decided to talk to you today.”

“Okay. So what’s there to talk about?”

Sammy blinked at him a couple of times. “Uh. Are you gonna ask Franks out or what?” Shawn glanced around, glad that no one else in the study hall seemed to notice - or rather, care.

“No? Obviously?”

Sammy raised an eyebrow at him. “Seriously? Why not?”

“Because he probably doesn’t feel the same way and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Sammy rolled his eyes. “Are you actually serious? Please, tell me you’re being sarcastic and I’m just misinterpreting you.” When Shawn shook his head, he facepalmed. “Ohhhh my god. Dude. It’s literally _ so _obvious that he likes you.”

“..what?”

Sammy let out a long, annoyed sigh. “You remember last night, right?” Shawn nodded. “Remember how he literally lied his head on your shoulder?”

“Yeah? So what? Guys are allowed to be affectionate with each other without being attracted to each other.”

“You’re missing the point. The fact was, he did that to _ you. _ He was also sitting next to Allison, who he’s been friends with for a lot longer. I mean, sure, maybe if it was _ just _that, then I wouldn’t think that, but like-“

“I really don’t think-“

“Let me finish. Do you _ see _the way he looks at you? You probably don’t because you’re too busy wishing you could make out with him, but he seriously looks at you like he thinks you’re the best person in the world. Like, when I see him suddenly get excited when we’re talking at lunch, I know that means you’re walking over.”

Shawn felt his face heat up before he answered, “First off, I don’t appreciate being called out like that; second, that still doesn’t mean anything.”

Sammy sighed. “Forget it. Just go sit by Susie at lunch, she wants to talk to you.” He stood up and headed to the other end of the classroom and got back to work.

Shawn’s head was kind of spinning, but he tried his best to brush it off and get back to doing his homework.

“You’re both so fucking oblivious,” Susie mumbled to herself. “Okay. I’m on my last straw. You  _ have  _ to ask him out.”

“I- I can’t! I don’t know if he-“ Susie quickly cut him off, “Oh, I know, you don’t know if he likes you back. That’s the point of asking him out.” She took a deep breath when Shawn opened his mouth to reply, but he quickly realized there was no arguing with her.

“Look, I know you’re scared of asking him out. I get that. Your parents are homophobic, people might judge you, you could get rejected. Not to mention I’m pretty sure you’re scared of being in a relationship. I get that. But you have to push past all those worries and just go ahead and ask.”

“I’m not scared of being in a relationship,” Shawn replied quietly with an unsure tone of voice. “I’ve dated people before.”

“Yeah, that one girl in freshmen year you thought you liked but you were super uncomfortable around, and one time she wanted to make out and you bolted and then broke up with her, which lead to you realizing you were gay? Yeah. I remember that.”

There was an uncomfortable silence. “Thanks for... for bringing that up,” Shawn replied in a troubled tone of voice. Susie immediately felt horrible, and replied, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just.. look. You don’t have to be defensive about it, is my point. There’s nothing wrong with being nervous, especially with your so far not amazing experience with romance.”

Shawn was still looking down at the floor, the mention of his first relationship clearly still on his mind. “I.. can you give me a minute? I need to go to the bathroom.” 

Shawn locked the stall and leaned back against the door. He stared at the wall, unsure of what to do or think. All he could think about was Charlotte. God, he wished he hadn’t had to deal with that. He couldn’t believe that he ever thought that was what he wanted. Of course, he felt obligated to like girls; in a way, he kind of was, if he wanted to be accepted by his parents.

It had been a confusing time in his life; he remembered it as around the time that he started wondering if he wasn’t straight. Of course, he had vehemently denied the thought; there was no way he was gay! So what if he had never liked a girl? So what if the only people he thought were attractive were guys? Surely he just hadn’t met the right girl, right?

That’s what he thought he’d found with Charlotte. The first girl he met that he noticed was cute (mostly because his friends pointed it out) he figured that he must like her and asked her out. She happened to like him, so she said yes.

To some extent, he wished he’d just never mistook noticing that someone was objectively attractive for actually having a crush. He wished he’d never said anything to her, found out any other way. But the other part of his mind told him that he needed to have that revelation. He would’ve kept denying it for much longer than he did dating her. He just wished that he didn’t have to hurt Charlotte to do so.

They weren’t friends beforehand. They were acquaintances, at most; classmates. That’s it. But he could still tell she was a nice girl. They didn’t talk afterward and avoided each other in the halls, but it wasn’t over hatred, Shawn knew that much; she was awkward, and so was he. They still went to the same school, nowadays he’d say hi and that’s it. He wasn’t sure that would ever go away.

He found himself zoning out, thinking about the day that it happened. 

_ Shawn was sitting next to Charlotte on the couch, his hand on hers. They were watching Friends, having been talking early, but just now fell to an awkward silence. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Charlotte was leaning towards him, and before he knew it, she had turned his head to hers as she slowly leaned forward. He realized what was happening, but was completely unsure of what to do, so he just kind of froze in place. Thoughts were racing through his head, too quickly for him to really process so his head ended up a jumbled mess of words.  _

_ Charlotte pressed her lips to his, and he felt himself inwardly recoil, but physically was still frozen. As soon as she tried to slip her tongue in his mouth, he snapped out of his stupor and jerked backward, crawling back to get as far away on the couch as he could. He stopped at the end and stared at Charlotte, who looked surprised and hurt. _

_ “I- I’m sorry, I thought you-” Charlotte started, and he cut her off, “Excuse me, I have to-um. Go. I told - uh - I told my mom she was supposed to pick me up by now. Sorry.” He jumped up off the couch and grabbed his bag, high-tailing it out of there. He felt bad about just running off, but he just - he needed to get away and process what had just happened. All he knew was that he  _ hated  _ it. He proceeded to text his mom he was walking home and did just that. _

He felt himself start to cringe just remembering. He remembered he had broken up with Charlotte over text later that night. Over  _ text _ . He still wished he at least called her, because he still felt a bit bad about that. But yeah. They hadn’t really talked since then, besides the one time he admitted like a year later that it was because he was gay. She said it was okay. He wasn’t sure if she fully believed that herself, but he at least knew she was fine with the fact he was gay. That was sorta nice.

He let out a sigh. He didn’t blame Susie for bringing it up; he knew she was right. He  _ was  _ scared. He was scared of love. He was scared of intimacy. He was scared that everything would turn out just as bad as it did in his first relationship. He was scared of a lot of other things, too; what if he got rejected? What if his parents found out? The latter was a lot more terrifying. That could mean, at best, shunning from his parents and, by extension, his whole family, and at worst, being disowned and tossed out onto the streets. It was scary. Really scary. But still, Susie was right. He would never get anywhere by pretending that said crush didn’t even exist and just waiting for it to go away. He couldn’t hide from it forever.

He left the stall, then sat back down at the table with Susie. “Alright. So you have any ideas on when I should ask him out?”

“Well,” She replied with a thoughtful gleam in her eyes, “I have a few..”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh. this ones around like 1k words? sorry that this ones shorter, i just figured that it ends pretty well at 1k. the last chapter i wasnt really sure how long it should be so its kinda wack but whatever

February 14, Valentine’s Dance.

The night before, Shawn and Susie had talked on the phone about what to say to Shawn. They had agreed at school that Shawn would just pretend he was talking about a girl on the phone instead of Wally, just in case his parents heard him. What Susie said was, paraphrasing slightly, “When you see him at Prom just ask him if he wants to dance, because there’s no way he’s already going to have a date”. Shawn felt offended on Wally’s behalf, but at the same time knew she was right.

Now, he was leaning against the wall by the front doors, feeling himself get more and more anxious by the minute. Five minutes into the two-hour long dance, and Wally wasn’t here; he knew he had no reason to worry. He was always late to things like this. Three minutes later, right as Shawn was about to text him, Wally pushed through the doors, immediately noticing him.

“Oh! Hey! Sorry I’m late. I, uh, had to rent a tux, but they got it in like twenty minutes before the dance, so we had to rush there to get it, and then come here quickly.” Wally flashed a self-conscious grin at Shawn, and he felt his heart flutter. 

“Well, hey,” Shawn replied with a goofy smile, “Worth it, since you look so great in it.” Wally lightly elbowed him and said in a joking voice, “Shut _ up, _” with a giggle. Shawn couldn’t help but notice the slight red tint on Wally’s cheeks but didn’t think much of it.

“Okay, well, let’s go hang out with everyone else!” Shawn almost wanted to protest so he could find some way to ask Wally to dance, but he knew it would be awkward right now, so he just went along as Wally pulled him by the hand.

“Oh, hey! Shawn, Wally,” Susie nodded at them with a smile. Wally grinned as he nodded back, and Shawn looked around the gym. It looked nice; there were two food tables on one end, a few chairs strewn along the side, and streamers everywhere with a large sign on the wall that read ‘Welcome to the Valentine’s Dance!’ in bubble letters. 

“Oooh, guys, let’s check out the food tables! I mean, if you haven’t already,” He added, glancing at both Shawn and Susie. 

“I already did, but I don’t mind going again,” Susie replied.

“I haven’t, was too busy waiting for you to show up.” Shawn grinned at him, and Wally replied, “Well, then let’s go!” 

Most of their friend group hadn’t shown up, and if they had, they were elsewhere. Sammy and Jack were leaning against the wall on the side of the gym away from the speakers, holding hands. It made Shawn happy, seeing the two of them together; he could end up in a relationship like that. It gave him hope.

_ God, you need to shut up, _ He told the voice inside his head, _ Stop thinking sappy shit like that. _That didn’t really stop his internal monologue from continuing to do so, but it was worth a try.

The snack table had a variety of stuff like pretzels, chips, cupcakes, and punch. There were a few other things, but he didn’t really pay attention to them. He took a couple of pretzels, but he couldn’t bring himself to eat much. He felt like he would probably throw up if he had more to eat because he felt like his stomach was churning. 

He knew that he had to ask Wally to dance at some point. He nearly dreaded the time when a slow song would come on, but he was also nervously excited. That was a weird feeling, to both be excited about something and dreading it at the same time.

As a popular song came on, Wally pulled Shawn by the hand to the dance floor, saying “Come on! We have to do Fortnite dances to the song,” with a huge grin on his face. The two of them did just that for the next few minutes, stopping towards the end of the song and laughing really hard.

“God, why did I agree to that? Now I look like a loser,” Shawn said with an embarrassed smile. Wally smiled back at him, then replied, “To be fair, you are.” 

As he was finally catching his breath, a slow song came on and he felt his breath catch in his throat as he sort of forgot how to breathe.

Wally started heading off the dance floor, but Shawn grabbed him by the hand and said, “Hey, wait.” Wally turned to him with a curious look in his eyes, and he added, “I- uh- I was wondering if-if you wanted to..” He felt his previous confidence diminishing by the second, but he forced himself to ask, “Do you want to dance?”

Wally stared at him for a moment, seemingly processing what he was asking. “Oh. Uh. Sure.”

“You, um, don’t want to if you don’t have to. I don’t want to guilt you into doing it or anything-“ Wally cut him off, replying, “No, no, it’s fine! I’d say no if I didn’t want to.”

Shawn glanced at everyone else and realized that slow dancing didn’t really have much to it. You kind of just stood and swayed a bit. _ Surely I can pull that off, _he thought to himself as he awkwardly put his hands on Wally’s shoulders. 

Wally flashed him an awkward grin as he put his hands on his waist. He felt a blush creep up his cheeks, but he tried to act like he knew what he was doing as he slowly swayed along to the music. Soon enough, he was out of the awkward stage of dancing and was caught up in the moment. He stared into Wally’s soft brown eyes and noticed a cheerful glimmer in them that he didn’t usually see. 

It took him a little bit to notice that they were slowly getting closer to each other, to the point that it would be only a few inches to close the distance and kiss. He decided not to make the first move, just in case Wally wasn’t up for it.

They got closer and closer, and Wally was starting to lean in towards him, before stopping. He moved back a bit, then slowly pulled away. “I.. I’m sorry, I have to, um. Get something to drink quick.” He quickly walked off, leaving Shawn standing there for a few seconds, confused, before following him.

“Wally- I-“ He ran after him, but stopped, lost in the crowd. _ Goddammit, _ he thought to himself, _ I’m a fucking failure. I made him run off. Of course I fucking did. _

He weaved through the crowd, and after around half a minute he got out, and glanced around, quickly spotting Wally leaning against a wall a few meters away from the snack tables. He made a beeline for him, thoughts racing through his head. _ What did I do wrong? Why’d he pull away? Is he okay? Should I even talk to him? Should I leave him alone? _

As he was a few feet away, he paused. “Wally- I- I’m sorry, did I do something wrong? I didn’t mean to-“ Wally raised a hand to silence him, then sighed, staring down at the ground with an ashamed look on his face.

“Sorry.”

Shawn sputtered. “What? I-I thought it was-“ Wally looked up at him, and he stopped. He had tears in the corner of his eyes, and he replied in a low voice, “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just- I needed to step away.”

“What’s wrong?” Shawn murmured. Wally dropped his gaze to the floor again. “Can we talk outside the gym?”

They sat down on the steps, and Wally put his head in his hands. There was a pause, and Wally let out a groan, before looking back up at Shawn.

“I- look. I.. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I guess last second, I got reminded of.. of my first kiss. And it made me panic.”

“If you don’t mind me asking.. what happened?” Shawn asked softly. He looked embarrassed.

“It.. it wasn’t that big of a deal, but.. basically I thought I liked this girl, Annie. So we dated for a couple of weeks. One time, she kissed me, and I totally freaked out. Jumped backward, was confused why she did it. She thought that’s what I wanted. I guess I did too.” He gave a rueful chuckle. “But I just.. I don’t know. I guess I was scared that this would end up one of those bad memories? I wanted to.. you know.” He looked down at the ground.

“So you kinda chickened out?” Shawn replied with a small smile. Wally looked up and gave him an amused smile. “Yeah. Guess I did.”

“Yeah. I sorta almost did myself. I almost flinched back last second. I didn’t tell you about my girlfriend ever, did I?”

“No, I don’t think so. I didn’t think you ever had a girlfriend.”

Shawn chuckled. “Yeah, that would be pretty normal to assume about a gay guy, I guess. Long story short, one time she tried to make out with me, I ran off. Beforehand I was starting to question if I was gay, and I kept denying it to myself. So I dated her to try and prove it to myself, and only ended up realizing that I was gay for sure in the end.” 

“Ha. I don’t think I ever really accepted it for sure until like five minutes ago.” Wally smiled at him, and Shawn felt his face go red.

“So you..?”

Wally nodded, smiling awkwardly as he looked away. “Yeah. I think so.”

“Well,” Shawn replied with a grin, “It’s good that I know we feel the same way.”

Wally turned to look at him, and scooted a bit closer to him, holding his hand. Shawn was a lot more happy with this night than he had expected.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: i still have a lot more written but i wanna edit it more before i post it so um. heres this? i think i cut the chapter decently this time but idk. also i havent actually written the next part, ive just been writing various scenes throughout the timeline of the fic  
critique anything that seems dumb i guess? if you want to?  
(also im sorry their accents r hardly noticeable bc in this au they dont live in new york n shawn moved from ireland at a pretty early age so his accent isnt very strong, pretty much same thing for wally)

So the relationship had been.. kinda weird so far. It had been roughly three and a half months since the night of the Valentine’s Dance and not much had changed since they were just friends, just with a little bit more hand-holding. Also a bit more stress of wondering if his mom would be able to find out somehow and promptly changing his phone password just in case she ever tried to get in. He’d definitely told her what it was in the past and didn’t want to risk her seeing his texts.

It was mainly weird because there was a tension in the relationship. A certain discomfort that neither of them talked about. He wasn’t totally sure what it was about, but he knew Wally noticed it too. There’d often be a lingering stare from one of them to the other, a small lull in the conversation where they leaned a bit closer to each other before one of them moved away. It was just the level of discomfort that it was kind of annoying, but again, both of them just ignored it.

However, one person who definitely noticed was Susie. Nothing slipped by that girl, no matter how minimal. He knew this because of the narrow-eyed glance she’d occasionally give him in response to one of those awkward moments. That made it even more irritating. 

One day, as Wally left at the end of the day, Susie sat next to Shawn in the school lawn. 

“So? What’s this about?” She asked with a small frown on her face. Shawn didn’t bother to even look at her, gaze dropping to the ground. “What ever could you mean?” He replied in a sarcastic voice. He could feel Susie’s stern gaze boring him down, and he answered in a softer tone, “I don’t know.”

Now it was Susie’s turn to be sarcastic. “What a helpful answer.” Shawn gave her a glare. He knew she was joking, but it just bothered him a bit more than usual right now. “Sorry. But come on, you’ve got _ no _ idea? _ None? _” 

Shawn shook his head. He hadn’t thought about that; he had just forced himself to stop thinking about it every time. He didn’t want to question why because then he’d have to recognize that it was happening, which he didn’t really want to, because then that would probably lead to having to talk about it. God, that was a horrible mindset and he knew it; that’s what he always heard, communication is key in a relationship, and they communicated about everything but that.

Susie paused for a few moments, then replied, “You think it has anything to do with both of your past relationships?” Shawn blinked a couple of times, then replied, “What?”

“Come on, you know,” She replied. Shawn flopped back on the grass and stared up at the sky. 

“Does this relate to what you said before the Valentine’s dance?” Shawn asked, “About me being scared of being in a relationship, I mean.” There was a beat of silence before a curt reply of, “Yes.”

When he didn’t respond, she added, “I’m surprised that he’s like this too. Weird that I could pick up on your relationship insecurities and not Wally’s, since I’ve known him longer,” He sat up and glared at her, replying with a snappy, “You know, you don’t have to be a jerk about this.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” she replied. Shawn was starting to get fed up, but he forced himself to take a deep breath and lie back down on the grass. “I know. I’m just.. ugh. I guess I’m kinda bottling up my frustration with this. I want to be a good boyfriend, I really do, but it’s hard.”

“Yeah. I understand, with the whole Charlotte thing. What’s also interesting is that Wally’s experience with romance wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as yours, but he still seems just as bothered by it, y’know? He’s more.. I don’t know. Delicate? Like a little butterfly. Like someone accidentally ripped off a little bit of his wing, and he’s still trying to fly but doesn’t really know how to. And you’re like, a bigger butterfly, and you got a bigger part of your wing torn off but proportionally it’s still the same as the smaller one so you’re having as much trouble flying. You get what I’m saying?”

Shawn raised an eyebrow. “That was a very convoluted and specific analogy, but I _think_ I’m catching your drift.” She grinned at him, happy that he actually understood what she was saying.

“Okay, then to continue that analogy, think about this; what if you could somehow mend that wing?” Shawn looked at her with a perplexed look on his face. “I.. feel like I know what you’re getting at, but I want to hear you confirm it before I jump to conclusions.”

“Okay,” Susie replied, “Well, I think it would be a good idea to talk to your ex-girlfriends.”

Shawn sat up and stared at Susie for a second. She certainly wasn’t joking, and if he was being honest, it wasn’t a bad idea. The slight guilt from his first ‘relationship’ was still stuck to his mind like a piece of gum on the bottom of a desk, mainly from abruptly breaking up with her and hardly ever talking to her again.

He let out a defeated sigh. “..that.. would probably be a good idea.”

Susie smiled. “Of course it is,” she replied. “Now, next time you talk to Wally, mention it.”

He stared at her for a few moments before turning his eyes to the sky and saying, “..yeah. Will do.”

“Okay. Good.”

-

-

Shawn flopped onto his bed. He had just finished his homework and figured he should probably get around to calling Wally. He’d have to be careful about what he said to make sure his parents didn’t catch on to anything if they heard him. He clicked on Wally’s contact and called, almost flinching at how quickly he picked up.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?” As dumb as it sounded, he could almost sense the smile on Wally’s face. He was already in a better mood talking to him.

“I wanted to talk about something.” There was a pause, before Wally replied, a bit hesitantly, “..what about?”

“Ah. Well, uh, Susie suggested that we should like.. both talk to our exes at some point.” He paused, both because he was unsure of how to continue and to make sure his parents didn’t react. Not hearing anything, he added, “To try and fix.. y’know. This.” He sort of waved his hand in the air, even though he knew that Wally couldn’t see him.

“Oh.” He was quiet for a minute or so. Shawn wondered if he should say something, but then he replied, “...do I have to?”

“Well, you know I’m not gonna force you to do anything,” Shawn replied, “but.. I don’t know. Think it would be a good idea. Trust me, I’m not that psyched about it either.” He heard a sigh through the phone.

“I knowww,” He replied in a frustrated tone, “It’s just.. I feel like my anxiety would just go off the wall, you know?” Shawn felt bad for him. He was nervous enough about the idea even without having anxiety, he couldn’t imagine how much worse it probably was for him.

“Hey, it’ll be fine. We can, like, call them together? Would that help?” Another small pause, and a reply of, “..yeah. Probably. But I’m still not sure…” he trailed off, then said with a sigh, “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m tired.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine with me.”

“Alright well, goodnight.” There was a pause. “Love you.”

“..you too.”

It had still been a pretty good day.

-

-

The next day, when he saw Wally, he knew something was wrong. He was rushing quickly down the stairs, and Shawn called out, “Hey, Wally!” He paused and looked to him, his face lighting up as he made eye contact.

“Oh, thank god,” he said, grabbing Shawn by the hand, “can you come with me to the bathroom or something? Anxiety attack.” Shawn nodded, and he pulled him to the bathroom the next floor down. There weren’t many people in the hallways, most being in the commons, so luckily no one noticed them slipping into the bathrooms and then into the largest stall.

Wally slid down to sit down on the floor, face in his hands. Shawn wasn’t really sure what to do, so he sat down beside him as he started crying. It was quiet at first, as he was likely trying to make sure no one would hear if they were to come in the bathroom, though it progressively got louder as he started to shake from how hard he was crying.

Shawn gently placed his hand on Wally’s shoulder, unsure if it would just make things worse or not, and when he didn’t flinch, he wrapped his arms around him in a gentle hug. Wally hugged him back, and they just sat on the floor for a while, Wally continuing to shake the whole time. Slowly, his crying started to get quieter, although the shaking was stopping at a much slower rate.

Shawn wasn’t sure how long it was until Wally pulled away, still shaking a bit, wiping tears away from his face.

“I’m sorry,” He said, and Shawn replied, “For what? Having anxiety? That’s not your fault.”

“No, I mean, we’re both gonna be late for class,” He replied, tears still dwelling in his eyes, “Because of me.” Shawn gently touched his hand to Wally’s cheek, and murmured, “Hey. Just told you, not your fault. After all, you didn’t force me to come along, did ya?”

Wally gave him a weak smile. “I guess you’re right about that,” he said, pulling away and starting to get up. Shawn hopped to his feet and helped him up, as he added, “But I shouldn’t have freaked out so much about the ex-girlfriend thing.”

Shawn was a bit surprised that that’s what he’d been so anxious about it, but thinking about it, he realized that it really wasn’t that surprising. He sounded.. well, definitely not thrilled about the idea on the phone.

“How many times do I have to say that it’s not your fault?” Shawn half-joked, flashing a small smile at Wally. Wally let out a light laugh, leaning forward and hugging him quickly before pulling back and saying, “Probably a lot more if you want me to actually believe it.”

_ Oh my god, _ Shawn thought to himself, _ How can one guy be this adorable? _

“Well, guess I’ll just have to keep telling you how amazing you are,” Shawn said with a grin. Wally blushed a bit, then opened up the stall door and motioned for Shawn to follow him. He hoped they wouldn’t run into any of their friends on the way, otherwise they might have some.. well, _other_ suspicions as to why they were both late to class.

Before they parted, Shawn set his hand on Wally’s shoulder and said softly, “Hey. Don’t think too much about the whole Annie thing. You don’t have to do anything till you’re ready.”

Wally gave him a small smile. “Thanks,” he murmured, before turning and walking away. Shawn paused there for a second or two, watching him leave, before heading quickly to class. He whipped out his phone and checked the time quickly, gritting his teeth as he realized he was ten minutes late. 

When he reached the door and knocked, the moment someone opened the door a wave of self-consciousness hit him like a brick. Almost half the class looked up from their work and at him and he had to force himself to ignore them as he walked up to the teacher at his desk.

“Hey, um. Sorry I’m late. I, uh..” he paused for a second, wondering if Wally would be okay with him mentioning his anxiety attack to the teacher. He decided he’d rather get in trouble than make Wally upset, so he just said, “Woke up late.”

The teacher looked at him with a disapproving expression on his face, responding, “Well, I’ll have to dock you off a few points for that. Get to work, instructions are on the board.” 

“Okay.” He knew full well he was going to spend the full class worrying about how Wally was doing, but he figured he could at least try to do his work.

-

-

As he sat down next to Wally at lunch, he noticed that he still looked a bit shaky. There was a small smile on his face, but he could tell that it was kind of forced.

“Hey,” he murmured, careful to be quiet enough that no one else heard him, “You okay?”

He nodded, but didn’t make eye contact and instead looked down at his lunch. 

“You can tell me if you’re not. Just saying you’re okay when you’re not doesn’t help anyone.”

There was a beat of silence from Wally as he made eye contact with Shawn before his gaze dropped and with a sigh, he responded, “Don’t.. really wanna talk about it here.”

Just before he was about to suggest moving to a different table, Susie asked, “Oh, by the way, can you two go to afterschool with me? I want to talk about the thing. You know.”

Shawn glanced at Wally, who promptly shook his head. “Not in the mood,” he replied, and she frowned slightly at him. “Why? Something wrong?”

He didn’t reply, instead looking down with an uncomfortable expression. She raised an eyebrow at Shawn, but he just replied, “He doesn’t wanna talk about it.” in a firm but not unkind tone. He put his arm over Wally’s shoulders, and he gave Shawn a weak smile and a soft “Thanks,” as he leaned against him. He sort of felt butterflies in his stomach and _ oh my god I’m becoming a teen romance novel character. _

Susie nodded and went back to talking to Sammy and Jack. All he heard from the conversation was laughter and the sentence “And I oop! Sksksksksk,” and he decided to stop listening.

“So. Um.” Shawn cleared his throat, then asked Wally, “How’ve things been going? Aside from, well, you know.”

“Mm. Fine, I guess?” He paused, then added, “But there hasn’t been much time today that I haven’t thought about it.”

“Hey, just don’t worry about it for now. I know that probably sounds dumb since you have anxiety and all that jazz, but you really don’t have to do it unless you want to, so don't worry about it, okay?” 

Wally nodded. “Yeah,” he mumbled, “still makes me anxious though.” Shawn didn’t ask for him to elaborate on why, since he figured too many questions would probably just be frustrating.

“Well, you can always talk to me if you need to,” Shawn replied in a gentle tone, “I mean, what’s a boyfriend for if he can’t comfort his bae?” Wally cringed, and replied, “Oh my _ god, _stop right this second,” though he couldn’t help but laugh at Shawn’s horrible joke. “Even though you’re joking that’s the absolute worst thing I’ve ever heard you say. Please never use that word again.”

Shawn grinned at him. “Alright, fine, I won’t.”

Allison, who was sitting next to Wally, leaned a bit forward and said, “Geez, do you guys have to be so obvious?” She said with a teasing smile. 

“Oh, c’mon,” Shawn said with a roll of his eyes, “The first few months you and Tom started dating, you were all over each other. Weren’t you two late for class once because you were too busy making out?”

“Guilty as charged,” She replied with a wide grin, “I’m surprised none of us have caught you two doing that yet.”

Aaaaand within less than a minute of conversation she already managed to hit an awkward subject.

“Haha,” Shawn replied awkwardly, glancing at Wally for a second before looking back to Allison, “Uh, yeah, that’s not, uh… we don’t really do that.” His voice got lower with each word, and he kept glancing at Wally. He looked fine, but if he had learned anything about Wally it was that he hardly ever showed anxiety (or any negative emotions at all for that matter) unless it was making him _ really _ upset. So at least he knew that Wally wasn’t _ too _upset, but he very much wanted to change the topic because he could tell that it was probably making him uncomfortable.

Before he could say something else, though, Allison asked, “Why not? I mean, c’mon, new couples always go _ way _ overboard with the PDA.”

“Yeah, uh. Not us. Can we change the topic, please?” Shawn replied with an awkward grin. Based on the look on her face, Allison had finally picked up that the both of them were getting uncomfortable, so she replied, “Got it. Sorry. Uh, well, how’s it been going for the both of you besides that?”

Shawn actually had to take a moment to think about the relationship so far. He certainly did enjoy hanging out with Wally and being annoyingly sappy, but other than that, there wasn’t much that was different from when they were friends. Thinking about it made him realize that he felt.. kind of unfulfilled in the relationship. He loved just being around Wally, but he was starting to realize that he needed more than that. Deep down, he knew that the whole time; but just then was when he admitted it to himself. 

“Good,” He replied, glancing at Wally, who nodded in response as he just kind of picked at his food with a fork. Something about Wally’s demeanor gave him the idea that he was sort of having similar thoughts.

Allison nodded solemnly, then turned to talk with Jack, and Shawn found his mind wandering off. He realized that, at some point, he should really talk to Wally about this. But he had trouble with the idea of actually doing that. _ That would be such an awkward conversation, _ He thought to himself with a slight frown, _ ‘Hey, sorry to bring up kind of an awkward topic, but I wanted to talk to you about the fact that we never kiss or anything, and it’s kinda bothering me because I..’ _ His thought trailed off, as he tried to process why it bothered him so much. Why _ did _ he want that in a relationship? _ Because that’s just.. what I want. I can’t just.. hold hands every once in a while. It’s not even the fact that we’ve never kissed, it’s the discomfort and nervousness keeping us from doing it that causes tension that I can’t handle. Because it makes me feel like I’m doing somethin’ wrong, and I’m the reason that there’s tension, even if that’s probably not reasonable and you’re probably just more awkward than I am with this type of thing. _

He was totally zoning off in his internal monologue so he almost missed when Wally mumbled, “I’m sorry, Shawn.” He took a few seconds to process what he said, and when he did, he replied, “For what?”

“I don’t know. This feels like my fault.” Shawn was quiet for a second, before murmuring, “It’s not. It’s not either of our faults, okay?”

Wally let out a soft sigh, then replied in an unconvinced tone of voice, “..okay.”

-

-

As Shawn was browsing his Instagram feed, incredibly bored, Wally called him. He quickly sat up, wondering what he was calling for as he answered.

“Hey. I, uh, wanted to talk about the thing you mentioned yesterday.”

“Yeah?”

There was a pause, then Wally let out a sigh and said, “I.. I think it would be a good idea. I don’t know. I feel like if I don’t do it, I’m gonna keep thinking about it because I’m pretty sure it’s a good idea. The only thing keeping me from it is that I feel like it’s gonna be really awkward, and… I.. I need to try and get past the awkwardness. Cause social anxiety… the thing about getting better with it is that I need to just go ahead and do the things I’m stressed about. So. Um. I guess, we should figure out when we’re gonna do that.”

Shawn was quiet for a moment, then replied, “..yeah. I’ll bring it up with Susie. I think.. maybe we could have a sleepover or something? Like, you, me, Susie, maybe one or two more people? Like we could call them and then just hang out and play truth or dare or something.”

“Mm. Alright.” There was a pause, before he said, “Uh. Text me once you ask her, then.”

“Alright.” There was a really long pause before Wally said quietly, “Um, goodnight. Love you lots.”

“You too,” Shawn replied, then Wally hung up. He dropped his phone beside him and stared up at the ceiling. He was.. not exactly excited at the prospect, but he brushed off his worries and opened up Susie’s contact on his phone.

_ hey wally said hes up for it _

_ should we do a sleepover or smth this weekend _

It was about ten seconds before she started typing a response.

_ Sure thing! Let me talk to my parents about it. They’re pretty chill so they’ll probably be alright with it. _

_ epic thanks _

A minute or two passed by before she texted again.

_ They said yeah! Plans are for Saturday, that work? _

_ yep! _

_ thanks susie! _

_ No problem! I hope you guys can work out your problems then. _

_ me too _

_ Alright, well I have to go to bed, so good night! _

_ gnight to u too _

Shawn quickly texted Wally about it before he plugged his phone in and stared up at the ceiling. Three days. Only three days, and yet it seemed agonizingly long. He hoped that Wally wouldn’t have another anxiety attack. He hoped that it wouldn’t be too awkward.

He hoped it would actually fix things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway im so sorry you had to read shawn saying the word "bae" but im leaving it in because if i had to suffer the pain of writing it you have to suffer the pain of reading it  
also wallys anxiety attack is rly short but.. i wasnt totally sure how to write it? since i wrote it different than how ive experienced them personally because... well mine are just kinda unnoticeable to the ppl around me? like ill sit down and drink water and thats it because i dont have like (noticeable) physical symptoms n stuff so i kinda just read abt other ppls experiences w it! i guess i hc wally to have worse anxiety attacks than i do ? ok im just gonna stop rambling no one actually cares  
um hope u liked it or at least found it decent! ive still got more stuff to do w the story, its a big wip :0

**Author's Note:**

> this isnt the whole thing btw! this is about 3.7k out of the almost 8k i have so far, i just have to cut them into chapters properly  
uh. hope you enjoyed!


End file.
